Welsh Farming Herkeys.

A boost to Welsh Boyo-diversity is the emergence of a new species - the Welsh Farming Herkeys (Hercius Agriculturus Gallus).

Four specimens have been identified - Peter Rogers AM, Brynle Williams, Glyn Davies and David Handley. David is self described as a ?rat? trapped in a corner. This Gwent tenant farmer has had his ups and downs.

Perhaps he intended to emulate his hero Peter Rogers. The Raging Bull of Benllech. Peter has charged around the china shop of Wales breaking everything but the begging bowl. He was involved in the riot of farmers in Anglesey that involved dumping Irish meat imports into the sea. There were no arrests but Peter?s venture into the protest movement was crowned with his election to the Welsh Assembly.

There he has made an impression as a manic speaker. He splutters torrents of words in no recognisable rational pattern. His oratorical skills peaked when he enlivened a sleepy debate by warning of the danger of the "sustainable green willy brigade."

Mr Glyn Davies AM was stopped by police for having a faulty tail light when he climbed out in his underpants, wellington boots and jacket.

The AM for Mid and West Wales had fallen in manure on his farm in Berriew, mid Wales, while driving his lambs to an abattoir in nearby Newtown on Sunday evening.

"I got out of my vehicle wearing only my wellies, jumper and underpants," Mr Davies (above) told BBC Wales.
"I had to take my trousers off because they were covered in farmyard manure. I slipped when I was loading the sheep up."

The next pinnacle of his career was a campaign he master minded in November 2000 to boycott Beaujolais Nouveau day- because it would upset the beastly French. His campaign attracted a lot of attention because it was launched a week after the arrival of the new wine. The sound of the shredding of press releases was heard in Davies's Office.
David Handley is now unlikley to make it into politics.
When he ?allegedly? broke into a store holding Irish meat he was arrested. His hopes of a political career are bleak. Intense media scrutiny has not always unearthed pleasant facts. The Independent reported:

?Court records show 22 County Court judgementsagainst Handley since 1995 for a total of some �29,000. Only one for �320 is registered as satisfied. "Debts do involve County Court Judgements. They are for bills I couldn't pay, foodstuff and things like that. We are paying the debts as fast as we can, but the income is dropping." Handley said defensively. ?

David Handley may be emulating Peter Rogers in becoming a politician. In November 2000 he has seen his own promised chickens failing to come home to roost. He promised a demo of a ?Million People? in London. Two weeks later that was revised to half a million.

He predicted that as many as 25,000 lorries would converge on London for a mass protest planned for 14 November. When the convoy arrived at its first checkpoint it had amassed a total of TWO vehicles - a cement mixer and a gas guzzling 4 by 4.

Brynle Williams is the well-fed farmer of Cilcain who demanded a ?60% cut in fuel tax in 60 days?. He called the Chancellor?s concession in November ?an insult.?

A Welsh TV company tried to set up a farm visit to Brynle?s rolling acres with a an urban Welsh MP in exchange for a visit by Brynle to meet low paid workers in the MPs? constituency.

The MP wanted Brynle to explain to a residential homes? nurse and a hospital porter how much more of their tiny incomes should be spent subsidising the farming industry. Brynle declined to take part.

The Independent commented on Handley:

?We may never have castrated a ram with our bare teeth, but we aren't completely stupid. For Mr Handley's information, we're also the ones paying his subsidies. ?

Having a little more trouble with his analogies, Handley compared Tony Blair?s Government with that of Slobadan Milosovic.

These are preliminary observations of the species Hercius Agriculturus Gallus, but more will follow. They have been bred in Herkey-carts and fed a diet that grows big bodies and mouths and small brains. Soon we will add some of their bizarre utterances.

A fascinating insight on Brynle Williams came from his Brother in Law. He attacked the recent nationwide blockades as "brainless behaviour". North Wales businessman Alastair Baker said the protest had cost him �10,000 in lost trade. In a letter to the Daily Post newspaper, Mr Baker said he backed the Government's tough stance and called
the actions of the protesters "the brainless behaviour of the playground bully".

Mr Williams became a national figurehead during the nationwide fuel
blockades, after he led farmers and hauliers to cut off supplies from the Stanlow Shell oil refinery in Cheshire.

In his letter, Mr Baker - a company director - issued a stinging attack on the protest: "Unlike the farmers, I do live in the real world...unlike the farmers, I do not expect to
be compensated when my clients decide the product I am producing is no longer the one which they want to buy.

"The recent madness had little to do with the price of road fuel but everything to do with the childish petulance of a group of individuals who refuse to adapt to challenging circumstances."
Mr Baker concluded: "...the Government must not submit to the brainless behaviour of the playground."

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